Friday, October 17, 2008

The Panda Will Walk Forward

I walk on like there's no tomorrow, but there is.
I take things day by day hoping that nothing will go wrong,
unfortunetly or eventually through out the day something does
I look forward to the future but cant see it clearly. I wonder if
or when it will become clear.

A weekend away is muchly needed for relaxation and family.
A night out is set up, to laugh and smile, but will i?
Dissapointment by someone loved and cared about deeply
still lurks in the back of my mind, I wish i could make it stop
Go away and hide and not be thought of again..but it's constantly
there for me to remember. I try so hard to be kind and caring towards
others and eventually I seem to get walked on and squiched by everyone
around me.
My feelings are hurt by the past few weeks.
All i can do is try for now just try
And Eventually The Panda Will Walk On!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

The Funk

Everyone slips into the funk once in a while
This deep dark hole where you have no idea how far you have fallen
This funk is like the deadly disease cancer which take over your mind and then sooner or later your body.

at the end of the day you know you only want to crawl in your bed and be surrounded by
nothing but you deep dark endless thoughts.
The funk, the whole that rules your world until further notice.
IT gives you that deep dark damp feeling through your bones
where sometimes you think you cant go on.
The funk, and endless trap of darkness until you see that tiny shimmer of light and you
reach for it.
The funk that endless shadow that is hanging over your head and seems to never go away It's that place in the dark when you have your head under the cover and you never want to come out.
The Funk your deepest darkest fear.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


Happiness is just outside of my window.
Or Is happiness a little more like knockin on my door
Well happiness feels like alot like sorrow but i tell myself to let it go.
Happiness was never mine to hold like firecrackers on my headbord
You say be myself and think of no other, can this be me?
My mind is made up and the girls is gone, I think im on my way
It hurts to live today.
Iv been waiting here so long, i see the black cloads coming around again
When i loose myself i think of you, Happines.
I see the smile, and hear the laugh once and awhile and i remember
Its not just a dream.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

A Lifetime

Sweet smiles, sweet dreams
Something I wish I had
The voice of readings is calm
I bring myself to the pleasures of the touch
and sweetness of what he brings.
The current pain had weighed me down long enough
Difficulty with feelings and emotions are slowly drifting.
I wake up in the morning and wonder why you dont think im
something better.
There is once in a lifetime and once in a while the differance between the
two is about a million miles.
He can hold any girl he likes, and fall in love at night but when he wakes in the morning he wonders why.
I hold on to what i have left of him, and what could have been.
Im looking for the distance when i might take the mile and leave it be
Which at this point i feel will never come, and never leave.
I was counting on forever but now i know.
Today i stand with a smile but who knows if that smile will remain until tomorrow.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

the Grass Is Green

Oh, i once had something Something that was so good, Better than the last thing i touched Then I turned right around on that something And figured i didn't like that much
The grass is green but can you tell me, can you feel it, i just wanna feel it.
The grass is green But i think i stained my jeans and now everybody knows that i been in it
I am a believer But as i was standing In line, somebody took my place Yes, i'm a believer, never mind what they say I got so tired along the way
The grass is green But can you tell me, can you feel it, i just wanna feel it? the grass is green But i think i stained my jeans and now everybody knows thah i been in it
I've got a skeleton that's deeper than any closet And a bomb that i will drop on it But you opened up to me Til i could only see the beauty in your dishonesty.
The grass is green But can you tell me, can you feel it, you just wanna feel it.
The grass is green But it think i stained my jeans and now, baby, you can tell that i been in it
The grass is green but it's not what it seems cause when you think You want it you just need it Forget just what you need

Monday, June 30, 2008

Island Of Wonder

The man wrinkles his face but it's already wornThe coffee is sour and the shirt is torn But the smile is bigger then the atlantic sea, and it happends to bring out the atlantis in me! Island of wonder where do you come from Is it the way the sun hits my face or is it your memory which i cannot trace
And the church bell dongs a remarkable song and i swallow the salt, as i hum along The women she laughs as i pass her by in a patch work i left behind island of wonder, where do you come from?
Look at me i have so much pride I took my shoes off i ran i did not hide Look at me i have so much pride i will give me dowry for the prize Island of Wonder Where are you going Nobody knows it but it is snowing in the hearts and minds of every kind of Universe
Every kind of universe

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Playing Games

Playing Games, Messing with the mind!
Ya gotta wonder why the mind game is at the top of the list.
Juggled emotions but dont dare to share.
They care but not enough to admit
The Mind Game
Maybe not so much a mind game, but a ball game..
3 Strikes and your out, foul ball try again.
You wait for the ball to come just at the right moment, not to early but not to late
The Mind Game
It takes brain power not ball power to make the perfect hit
Once you strike out the perfect hit is gone and you'll wonder what could have been
Perfect has fallen to the ground
The Mind Game Or The Ball Game?!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

To Those Who Can Not Read

This half open book has been damaged in more ways then one and has been let down by those who read, so as long as the book sits on the shelf it will not trust the reader, until the reader has shown the capability of trust this book will only stay half opened.

Monday, June 16, 2008

A Chance At A Good Hand

Life deals you cards everyday, some are shitty some are good.
My last hand couldn't have been worse.
Whats seemed to be almost perfect has now been turned into Poo!
The drama that has collidid down on me is fearce and which I do not need
This almost fake smile has gone on far to long. I feel It's time to bring out
the Cat Claws and fight for what i feel can and will be perfection.
But yet again people always say perfection is not always good, but to be
Happy is a Celebration

Monday, June 2, 2008


Rain drops fell as i stood under a dim street light smoking my ciggerette.

Intoxicated the city streets come to a freeze. hearing those peaceful raindrops

smashing on the wet streets, and for a moment everything was cool, clam and

I relaized I will be okey. And then reality kicked back In.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

A New Sunrise

You wake up one morning with the sun shining on your face.
The thought comes to mind should I get my day started or should I stay in bed all day and ponder about what your life could be like or would have been like!

I woke up this morning with the realization that what could have been is no longer
and what is, will always be. Reminding myself that what I wanted is no longer or was never.
I just need to let go and be who I was born to be, which I's really nothing at all.

Today Is a new start to something or maybe nothing at all, but in the end i know my life will always be taken day by day and step by step.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

One Last Tear Will Fall

First there comes that overwelming emotion
that no-one ever reallys wants to feel, once
someone has something that hurt so deep it
feels like you've been split in two halfs.

Could you ever say it was really worth pushing
her away?! I shouldn't be there in the back of
your mind, when you need me the most i wont be
there and when i need you the most i wont be there.

You've made my heart turn black for the last time,
My bones have broken and and the tears have
Fallen. It hurts to breath everytime
your not next to me, but thats the the price you made me pay.
I wish you would say your dead inside like me.

I wanted more then this, i just couldn't tell you, i needed more
then you could give and i guess i got what i deserved. This pain
just wont stop. Make it stop. Just make it go away, make it END.

If being friends is all i can have i guess ill have to live with that
even though it's not what i want! Im who i really am when im with

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

The calm before the storm

Its been calm here for some time.
Just calm, Im waiting for something
big to happen and when it does the
world will know it. She seems restless lately
needs something more or something new!
But when the storm comes she and everyone
else will see it coming.
For now just calm. She says have some faith.
She leaves for now with anger and pain in her
heart. She tells the demon inside to stay down
be calm, be easy.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Walking With The Wrong Feet

Walking with the wrong feet these days doesn't seem right!
What ever happend to the real me, I'v changed.
I need to get back to the real me and fast.
A day of silance is just what i need...alone time is giving me
back the strength that i once had and to figure out this bind
that I'm In.
Where did it all go wrong?

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

A sweet friend a sweet drive
Relaxationm, sweet sleep until
A load ringtone in your ear.
Fresh smelling Laundry from
Someone sweet and nerdy.
A nice warm tea to finsh a
Wonderful evening

Monday, April 14, 2008

The Dead

Being Dead Inside Sucks, Make That Being Undead Sucks! She's red and white and not dead all over, although the thought of hurting her is somwhat amusing to on the brighter side of things she is my bestfriend and god knows where i would be without her, probably much happier! Do Animales get the blues? Because im pretty sure she does not, like what the hell her and her stupid colored cat..who she thinks is an acual person..we should call her the crazy cat lady not the "Devil"

New Chapter

Ok. So She might be The Devil. But I knew it when I got into this mess, and I know I can handle it. I’m Me!
And now I am in the Big City….